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» August 25, 2006
Clerks 2
Despite everything you may or may not have heard about Kevin Smith and View Askew’s latest movie, Clerks 2 is actually a very enjoyable stand-alone sequel to the critically-confused Clerks from like ten years ago. And thankfully this movie has very little in common with its plotless ancestor. I use “plotless” in a kind manner; it was an interesting movie, but it just wasn’t amazing...it was more like boring as fuck. Clerks 2 will fool you in the beginning with some obscure banter that seems to reflect its slow counterpart, but soon moves into a relatively serious plot with some fucking strange events happening alongside it.
Clerks 2 stars Dante and Randall, the lame heroes from the prequel. It also stars Jay and Silent Bob, who have just returned from rehab and are still selling drugs in front of stores. You know, typical Kevin smith shit. But damn if it isn’t good. The lines are clever, obscene, and thought-provoking at all once. I mean, while I myself have had discussions with people about A2M, or "ass to mouth", some people might find the subject a little unsettling, especially since there is so much of it in the movie. There is even a rather strange scene regarding racial slurs, which is pretty funny if you're a piece of shit like me.
Everything you’d expect from a Smith movie is here in spades: vulgarity, nudity, religion, sex, and completely bizarre things, which I won’t get into so as not to spoil the movie. It’s short enough that I didn’t look at my watch, and it was long enough that I didn’t feel like I’d been shortchanged on my ticket. Dante thankfully has dropped the "I'm not even supposed to be here today" line from the first movie; the line is only said once in the Clerks 2, and it's not by Dante! Randall continues to be sarcastic, idiotic, and utterly hilarious. Jay and Silent Bob couldn't be any more in character, which luckily includes all the sexual innuendo and drug references, as well as some brief insight by Silent Bob. Well, perhaps less insightful than his previous lines, but it's still funny.
The really odd part of this movie is that behind me in the theater was a really old couple. I mean old, like 60’s or 70’s, and they laughed hysterically at every scene in this movie. Every conversation was just hilarious to them. I don’t disagree that it was funny, but I never thought I’d hear old people laughing about bestiality jokes. I have to say, it really made me feel better about society when old people can still be open about that sort of thing. So anyway, go see this movie. For right now, just feel like an asshole about not having seen it yet. You asshole.
Rock over London; rock on Chicago.
AARP, protecting old people the world over.
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